I have always been very scared of (physical) pain probably because I was a clumsy child and made some traumatic mistakes like stepping on a cactus and a sea urchin, or hugging a jellyfish (I grew up in a seaside town). So it was quite natural for me to pick pain when I was searching for themes for my new project then. When I started research for PAINKILLERS, I learned that there are people whose conditions amplify or diminish (or even disappear) pain, which proves that the mechanism of pain reception is incredibly complex. This also reminded me of stage magic where pain emerges and disappears as though by ‘magic’. 

I used to love watching magic shows on TV, dreaming of becoming a magician one day. I soon discovered I was far too clumsy for that, but looking back, what I really wanted to be was a magician's assistant, who now I know is a true hero under such a humble job title. She is at mercy of knives, guns and saws and does all the hard work, often in very tight awkward spaces.  I am happy to fulfil my childhood dream in this show. 

PAINKILLERS is about identities, including self-identified gender identities. They are essential human rights, which are currently devastatingly undermined following the UK Supreme Court ruling. Self-identified gender identities are seriously profound and should also be joyous, performative and playful. Whilst remounting this piece, we are particularly interested in how the joy of my ‘transition’ is expressed through Mairi's characterisation.